Remember how feedback triggers threat responses? There's a simple framework that cuts through this problem: the SBI model.

SBI stands for Situation-Behavior-Impact. It's your roadmap for giving feedback that feels safe and specific rather than threatening and vague.

Engagement Message

Ever wished you had a formula for difficult conversations?

Let's break down each piece. Situation means describing when and where something happened - the specific context.

Instead of "You always push back on ideas," try "In yesterday's sprint planning when we discussed the API refactor..."

Engagement Message

See how the specific situation feels less threatening than "always"?

Behavior describes exactly what you observed - just the facts, no interpretation or judgment.

Not "you were dismissive" but "you questioned Tom's proposed solution three times without offering alternatives."

Engagement Message

Can you feel the difference between facts and judgment?

Impact explains how the behavior affected you, the team, or the work - without making assumptions about their intentions.

"When you questioned Tom's approach repeatedly, I noticed he stopped contributing suggestions and the planning session stalled."

Engagement Message

Notice how this avoids mind-reading about why they did it?

Here's why SBI works: it keeps you in the safe zone of observable facts rather than threatening interpretations.

Compare "You're not collaborative" (judgment) with "In yesterday's sprint planning, you questioned Tom's solution three times without alternatives, which caused him to stop contributing."

Engagement Message

Which one would make you less defensive?