Welcome to Essential Leadership Conversations! You're about to master the most challenging part of leadership: giving feedback and conducting difficult conversations effectively.
Most leaders avoid these conversations because they feel uncomfortable. But what if I told you the discomfort isn't your fault?
Engagement Message
When was the last time you delayed giving feedback because it felt awkward?
Here's the truth: our brains are wired to perceive feedback as a threat. When someone receives feedback, their brain's alarm system activates - the same system that protected our ancestors from physical danger.
This happens even with positive feedback, but it's strongest with corrective feedback.
Engagement Message
What signs of this threat response have you noticed in yourself during a feedback conversation?
When the brain perceives threat, it triggers the "fight, flight, or freeze" response. Blood flows away from the thinking brain to prepare for survival.
This is why people often become defensive, shut down, or argue during feedback conversations.
Engagement Message
What's one defensive behavior you've observed when giving feedback?
The key insight: it's not personal weakness when someone reacts poorly to feedback. It's biology. Their brain is literally protecting them from what it perceives as danger.
Understanding this changes everything about how we approach these conversations.
Engagement Message
How might this knowledge change your approach to feedback?
As leaders, our job is to structure feedback conversations so they feel safe, not threatening. When people feel psychologically safe, their thinking brain stays online.
Safe feedback leads to learning and growth. Threatening feedback leads to defensiveness and resistance.
Engagement Message
Recall a time feedback felt safe. What made it feel that way?
