Welcome to "Achieving Tactical Empathy," inspired by Chris Voss's renowned book "Never Split the Difference." As a former FBI hostage negotiator, Voss shares insights into making negotiations about understanding the other party. In this unit, you'll learn techniques for unveiling emotions, crafting meaningful dialogue, and engaging in negotiations with empathy. Be prepared to uncover the emotions driving behaviors, use labeling to encourage dialogue, and aim for genuine understanding.

Tactical Empathy involves thoroughly grasping your counterpart's emotions, which in turn boosts your influence. This starts with identifying the feelings behind their actions. For example, when a client expresses frustration over a product's performance, your task is to recognize this emotion and address it directly.

• Chris: Hi, Jessica. I've noticed you seem uneasy about the new project timeline.
• Jessica: Yes, Chris, I'm worried we might not meet the deadlines with our current resources.
• Chris: It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed by the workload.
• Jessica: Exactly. I'm just anxious that we won't deliver quality work.
• Chris: I understand. Let's explore what resources we might need to change that.

In this exchange, Chris effectively uses tactical empathy by identifying Jessica's emotion and addressing it, inviting open dialogue. By doing so, Chris demonstrates sincere understanding and creates a safe space for collaboration.

Labeling emotions is a pivotal tool for acknowledging and affirming your counterpart's feelings. You can start with phrases like "It seems like..." or "It sounds like..." to draw out deeper engagement. This method helps you delve further into their hesitations, such as when a client is doubtful about a solution—"It seems like you're worried about the investment's return." After using a label, remember to let silence work its magic, offering your counterpart the space to expand on their initial reactions.

Finally, silence following a label isn't just strategic—it's transformative. After you've pinpointed and labeled emotions, allow for pauses. This not only encourages reflection but also motivates your counterpart to share their deeper insights and concerns. For instance, after saying, "It sounds like you have some reservations," allow the quiet to deepen the discussion. This pause signifies that your approach is neither rushed nor dismissive, fostering respect and potentially unveiling new layers of understanding.

Prepare yourself for the upcoming role-play sessions, where you'll apply these principles to develop your negotiation prowess further.